𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗢𝗻𝗯𝗼𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗧𝗼𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗻
𝘣𝘺 𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭𝘢 𝘈𝘤𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘢
Thus begins your guide to your new onboard toaster oven,
the Intergalactic Chef’s Supreme Machine.
It has four settings: cold, toasty, scalding, and bonfire.
(I’m afraid that “bonfire” translates to “volcano” in some Centaurian dialects.)
Bonfire, a veritable feast, may be used when an interspecies party is held onboard.
Simply insert two pre-cut loaves of bread into the toaster oven
and it will, of course, gleefully produce perfectly toasted bread,
all according to proper xenobiological dietary restrictions.
This device comes equipped with:
melodious music while you overcook delicacies,
microgravity protected multigrain enhancers,
laser activated panini press capabilities,
and, naturally, freshly made French toast.
Spontaneous combustion has, regrettably, occurred
while in eccentric orbits with Mercury in retrograde.
We highly encourage you not to power on your device
until leaving the solar system but, please, purchase
your Cuban bread, Martian loaves (with marmalade),
and Oort Cloud airy ciabatta rolls prior to departure.
We truly hope you will enjoy your toaster oven (patent pending),
and will follow the complicated diagrams of bobs and bits needed for assembly.
(Minor assembly required, do not attempt in an asteroid field.)
Attached we include Terran, Centaurian, and many more exotic recipes
all for your perusal. (We know you’ll simply eat bagels and toast.)
Please enjoy, the robots who made the Intergalactic Chef’s Supreme Machine
will be ever so happy.