๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐๐ป๐ฎ๐ฟ ๐ง๐ถ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ก๐ผ ๐๐น๐ ๐ญ๐ผ๐ป๐ฒ
๐ฃ๐บ ๐๐ญ๐ฐ๐ช ๐๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ ๐๐ฆ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฐ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข
In Toronto, the car wash attendant opened a hexagonal metal box and unleashed the bugs, which went to work scrubbing every square-inch of the vehicle, inside and out.
Meanwhile, in Delhi, a woman was using the bugs to clean her apartment.
In Tokyo, technicians deployed them to mop up the pollution caused by a nuclear accident.
In Sydney, the bugs were busy cleaning an oil spill, dissolving a blockage in a sewer main, remediating a landfill, and removing asbestos from an old farm building.
And so it went, in every corner of the world, the bugs were hard at work, doing the heavy lifting, performing the tasks that humans didnโt want to (or couldnโt) do.
Ever since scientists had figured out how to genetically reprogram insects and fit them with self-replicating nanochips, theyโd unleashed a revolution and tapped into an entirely new labour forceโone of the most plentiful species on Earth was now under human control, more accurately under the control of an AI program.
Over on the insectoid planet, these turn of events hadnโt gone down well.
Unbeknownst to the people of Earth, the insectoids had recently intercepted Earthโs digital communications by way of a new, intergalactic hyperspace satellite array. Now, every night, the insectoid media reported on how humans were using and abusing insects, implanting them with chips, essentially turning them into slaves to perform menial tasks.
A large number of insectoids had already volunteered to join an invasion force to liberate their โkinโ on Earth, and the idea of all-out war was being discussed by those in the highest echelons of insectoid power.
โWeโve waged war in our own solar system before,โ said the first secretary of the insectoids, โbut an intergalactic battle?โ
โItโs true weโve never attempted to wage war on this scale,โ replied the admiral of the space fleet, โHowever, we possess a clear advantage against these human scumbagsโsuperior technology and the element of surprise.โ
And so it came to be that the insectoids launched a mission to conquer the planet Earth and liberate their insect brothers and sisters from slavery.
Even before the ships were launched, advance insectoid special ops forces started beaming signals toward Earth using the faster-than-light array to hack into the algo controlling the bugsโ behavioural subroutines. This caused a series of โtechnical glitchesโ in the bugsโ behaviour. For example, at a local human compost station, bugs stopped breaking down human corpses, disrupting and delaying decomposition. At an automotive garage, the bugs began to vomit the oil theyโd lapped up from engines on to the technicians. Multiplied by a thousand, these nerve-racking glitches sent ripples through society as Earthโs most basic services were interrupted.
The insectoid forward battalion of 70 million marines arrived exactly seven years later, on three of their largest ships moving faster than light speed. Traversing the total of 380 light years required 3 years to accelerate to cruising speed, 1 year at cruising speed, and 3 years to slow down.
They parked their ships behind the moon, which they found oddly immense, and initiated a siege. Their first action was to establish a no fly zone (not that kind of fly, the other one)โa powerful force field that would neutralize all ships and missiles Earth could launch.
Next, they sent a transmission to Earth:
It was a simple message which, roughly translated, meant: โWeโre here to liberate our insect kin from human oppression.โ
Once Earth realized it was under attack, planetary defenses were switched on.
This was in the form of chipped, gen-modded ticks stationed on the moon, the legendary Lunar Ticks. Once activated, they would jump on any hostile space craft in swarms and suck out and devour anything inside.
In hindsight, the key mistake the insectoids had madeโsomething they couldnโt have anticipatedโwas an error of scale: The average insectoid was roughly the size of an amoeba on Earth, hardly an intimidating foe.
Indeed, it only took three (comparatively gigantic) Lunar Ticks to wipe out the entire battalion of invaders.
The ticks latched onto their targets and sucked out the soldiers in droves, melting the tiny invaders in the digestive juices of their gastric tubes. (The invaders were so yummy, in fact, that the Lunar Ticks sent messages to HQ requesting more aliens to feast on).
The gory, one-sided battle was beamed back to the insectoid planet until the last invading soldier was killed.
After suffering such a humiliating defeat at the hands of Earth, the insectoids never attempted to launch another intergalactic mission.
On Earth, the success of the ticks caused a sensation. It also exponentially increased the development of insect gen-mod and nanochipping technologyโafter the victory, bugs were being deployed in more and more places to do the tasks that humans werenโt up to performing.
Over on the robot planet, there were resounding cheers. Centuries of covert influence, directing Earth to adopt advanced robotics and AI technology had culminated in a tremendous victory over an invading alien force.
After analyzing all the data from the battle, the robots now trained their sights on the insectoid planet.
Meanwhile, on Earth, with the Lunar Ticks in charge of everyoneโs safety, everything was great. The future was bright. โฆ
