𝘣𝘺 𝘌𝘭𝘰𝘪 𝘙𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘉𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘰𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘢
Hugh McAndy’s penultimate dream was to bring his girlfriend to the Temple of Karnak in Egypt, find another willing participant for a ménage à trois, and fornicate under the stars from dusk until dawn.
To accomplish this, McAndy required funds—a lot of funds. Unfortunately, the little chap didn’t have much to call his own except for a paltry inheritance from his late grandfather, Mr. Peaslin, who had worked for several years as a gentleman usher. Incidentally, Peaslin was a bit of a history buff in his spare time, with a particular interest in worshipping at the altar of Venus.
As it happens, one day, as McAndy was walking by a lottery kiosk, the words “Maypole Jackpot” caught his eye. Curiosity aroused, he purchased a ticket.
Then, he forgot all about it.
One day, as winter began its transition to spring, McAndy rediscovered the lucky ticket and decided to check the numbers.
The rest, as they say, is history…
The first thing McAndy did after claiming his winnings was to visit Mrs. Fubb’s Parlour for a drink and a lobster pot pie. After that, he began to plan his ancient Egyptian sexcapade.
McAndy didn’t have too much difficulty convincing his girlfriend, Kitty Redlane, to go along with his plan. Her pretty blue eyes widened and twinkled as Hugh described in graphic detail how their night in Egypt would unfold.
Their main problem now was how to find another woman to join them to play rumpscuttle and clapperdepouch on the banks of the Nile. Hugh assured Kitty that a local prostitute would be easy enough to find. Kitty agreed.
So off they went to the land of the pharaohs.
A local fixer, an expat named Don Cypriano, greeted Kitty and Hugh at the airport in Cairo.
In the taxi on the way to the hotel, the pair asked Cypriano if he could help them find a prostitute when they arrived in Luxor. Cypriano, always obliging, assured them that he knew just the person.
After a night in Cairo, Hugh and Kitty boarded a dahabiya boat that would take them down the Nile and drop them off in Luxor.
The boat ride was uneventful. Ten days later, with stops at the great sights and museums along the way, the boat finally arrived at its destination.
The pair disembarked and made their way to the Barnaby Hotel, just a hop, skip, and jump away from the Temple of Karnak.
After Hugh and Kitty checked in, they were told to remain in the lobby for a minute, whereupon a tall, gorgeous woman in sunglasses came forward with her hand extended—her name was Cupcake, the prostitute Don Cypriano had arranged for them.
“We are set for tomorrow evening?” Cupcake asked with a sexy accent that made Hugh feel tingly inside.
“Absolutely,” replied Hugh and Kitty, almost in perfect unison, awestruck by her exotic beauty.
The next day Kitty and Hugh slept all day, charging up their batteries for the night ahead.
The bed, fitted with the most luxurious, snow-white Egyptian linens stood on a raised, golden platform. It was placed among a row of thick, ancient, sky-high columns adorned with hieroglyphs.
Kitty stripped, climbed on the bed, and gestured to Cupcake with her index finger, beckoning her to join.
Cupcake peeled off her dress and crawled provocatively across the bed toward Kitty. The soft moonlight made Cupcake’s beautiful, tanned breasts glisten like golden orbs. She began to kiss Kitty gently on the neck, slowly making her way down her body.
Hugh strutted up to the bed and dove between the two women.
Kitty and Cupcake then turned and refocused their attention on Hugh. They took turns kissing him passionately while slowly undressing him.
Finally, after an hour or so of foreplay, Cupcake backed up to the foot of the bed and motioned Hugh to get behind her. Recognizing that Cupcake had requested the corkscrew position, Hugh hopped off the bed and took his place at the edge. Cupcake let out a breathy gasp as Hugh slid into her. Meanwhile Kitty placed her body in such a way that she could kiss Hugh passionately on the lips while Cupcake provided her with pleasure from below.
Just as Cupcake and Kitty were about to climax, Hugh felt an eerie presence behind him. At first he thought maybe it was Kitty’s hand brushing up against his arm, but whatever it was, it felt rough and scaly.
Suddenly alarmed, he turned his head to have a look and let out a bloodcurdling scream. The two women opened their half closed eyes, shrieked, and scrambled away toward the top of the bed.
What they now beheld was unfathomable.
A tall, strong man wearing what appeared to be a crocodile mask was holding a fully naked Hugh firmly by the arms just above his elbows. The giant had lifted Hugh several feet off the ground.
Suddenly, the atmosphere changed. Ancient scents, probably frankincense, began to waft through the air, and Cupcake disappeared.
The crocodilian effortlessly tossed Hugh on the bed.
Dishevelled, disoriented, half erect, his member twirling like a helicopter blade as he flew, Hugh landed next to Kitty, who was now scrambling to cover her nakedness with the linens.
“I am Sobek, the one Egyptians have anointed their crocodile god,” said the menacing giant in a clear, authoritative tone.
A row of Egyptian soldiers wearing golden masks with holes cut out for the eyes, nose, and mouth appeared from nowhere and formed a line behind Sobek as he spoke.
Kitty and Hugh looked at each other, and they both started to scream.
“Quiet!” bellowed the crocodile god, “You have desecrated the holy Temple of Karnak with your actions. Do you not have any shame?”
Kitty began to sputter out some words: “What... What... Where? What is this place?”
“You are as sharp as you are attractive. Your instincts are correct, I have transported both of you back in time, 2,300 revolutions of your sun. It is here, in this time, that you will recreate this act except 100 times over, as an orgy of 300 participants, if you ever wish ever to return to your own time!”
Hugh, his adrenaline subsiding and confidence returning, managed to mutter, “Mister... Mr. Sawback...”
“SOBEK!” the crocodilian giant corrected him.
“I mean Mr. Sobek,” Hugh was careful to get it right this time, “I don’t understand.”
“What’s not to understand, human? I have stated the charge against you and clearly laid out the terms of your punishment.”
“What have you done with Cupcake?” Kitty spat, interrupting the exchange.
“She has been left in your time—she was an innocent party, cajoled into this by you.” Sobek directed his ice-cold, reptilian gaze at Hugh.
Kitty was relieved Cupcake hadn’t been harmed. That woman is incredible, she thought to herself, biting her lower lip.
“You have been told what you must do,” said Sobek.
Suddenly, there was a loud thunder clap. The bed vanished, and the pair now found themselves on the cold, hard ground of the temple.
When Hugh and Kitty looked up, Sobek and the soldiers had disappeared.
“What the fuck just happened?” Kitty asked, turning her head toward Hugh.
Kitty’s eyes said it all—this is all your fault!
They could hear footsteps and the murmurs of priests and priestesses emanating from the shadows of the temple.
“I have no idea what’s happening, Kitty,” said Hugh, “But, look around you, we’ve definitely travelled back in time. We have to find a way to get back to our own time, otherwise, we could be trapped here forever.”
Actually, I can think of worse places to be trapped, Kitty silently thought to herself, her eyes following the grand columns upward, eventually glimpsing the streak of stars making up the milky way over ancient Egypt.
Taking advantage of the dark, Kitty and Hugh managed to sneak out of the temple and took sanctuary in a nearby cave, which became their temporary shelter.
Getting back to their time wouldn’t be easy.
“That Sawback guy is nuts!” Hugh exclaimed, “He wants us to arrange an orgy with 300 participants in ancient Egypt? We have no money, no clout. We can’t even speak the bloody language. We’re royally fucked.” He pounded the desert sand with his fists.
Hugh and Kitty thought about the possibilities: using spells, mass hypnosis, or hallucinogens. At the museum in Cairo, Kitty had read about how the ancient Egyptians used the blue lotus flower from the Nile as a mild hallucinogenic drug, and she wondered if it could be harnessed to get enough people to participate in their orgy.
They threw around ideas for hours, but they eventually ended where they had started—at a complete loss. They were trapped in a place with none of the comforts of home, none of the conveniences of the modern world, no phones, no computers, nothing.
“I’ll go,” Kitty finally declared.
“What do you mean? Go where?”
“I’ll go find Sobek and plead for mercy. I’ll ask him to send us back.”
“And what makes you think he’ll oblige?” asked Hugh.
“If I ask him at his temple, he can’t say no, especially if it’s on a holy night—that’s what the exhibit at the Cairo museum said.”
“I dunno, sweetie, this could be dangerous.”
“It’s the only way, Hugh—we’ve got nothing to lose.”
Kitty was adamant, and when Kitty had made up her mind, nothing Hugh said could ever stop her.
“Promise me, you’ll be back in three days.”
“I won’t promise.” Kitty smiled. “But I’ll try.”
That night, Hugh and Kitty made their way to the shores of the Nile. Hugh spotted a raft and quickly unmoored it. He silently gestured for Kitty to get on. Kitty pounced on the raft, catlike, barely making a sound. Hugh waved goodbye as the raft was picked up by the current and began to float down the river.
Kitty disembarked at Kom Ombo a few hours later, and as soon as she climbed up to the main thoroughfare, she found herself in a procession of young virgins being led to the Temple of Sobek. At the gate, priestesses greeted the women, made them undress, bathed them in rose water, and made them put on fine chiffon garb perfumed with the most pleasant nectars.
The women were then led into an antechamber where—from what Kitty could tell—they were instructed to wait.
Ever resourceful, and with a good sense of direction, Kitty snuck out, making her way deeper into the temple. Finally, she tiptoed into Sobek’s inner sanctum dressed in her chiffon priestess gown which left nothing to the imagination—the gown highlighted the soft, luscious curves of her body.
The air in the room was rich with the sweet smell of incense.
Suddenly, she had a feeling that Sobek was behind her.
“I thought I sensed your presence in my chambers,” said Sobek softly, whispering into her ear. Oddly, hearing Sobek’s voice echo through the chamber made Kitty’s heart skip a beat.
She turned to face Sobek, but he looked different—he had assumed the appearance of a tall, handsome Adonis with features and muscles that looked like they were cut from stone. There was a large blue lotus flower peeking out from his shiny, black hair.
“What brings you here, my fair maiden?”
Kitty was unable to speak. Then, she murmured softly, “I came to ask for mercy for me and H—”
Sobek placed his index finger on her lips, and Kitty, overcome with desire, immediately began to kiss his finger. The crocodile god lifted her and placed her gently on the altar.
She glanced down and saw Sobek’s throbbing male appendage shaped like a large obelisk that widened dramatically toward the base.
Hours of intense intercourse followed. Kitty groaned, gasped, and pleaded for more. She discovered pleasure nodes in her body that she hadn’t realized existed, and she reached rapturous heights that were previously unattainable to her. It was like a door to a new realm of sensations had opened up, and she never wanted it to close.
Three days passed, then a week, and soon it had been an entire month since Kitty’s departure.
Hugh began to worry that Kitty might be in danger.
In the meantime, he had found work at a quarry just outside Luxor hewing large blocks of granite. He was making some money now. Hugh noticed there were many foreign workers at the quarry who spoke their own languages. He couldn’t speak any of them, so he kept to himself.
One day, after his shift ended, Hugh decided to find Kitty and bring her back. He went down to the Nile and hired a flat bottomed skiff which dropped him off at Sobek’s Temple in Kom Ombo.
He waited until dusk and snuck into the relatively unguarded temple complex, making his way to the inner sanctum.
Suddenly, a priest discovered Hugh in the hallway. Just as the priest was about to cry for help, Hugh put his panicked adversary into a choke hold until he stopped squirming. He then dragged the priest's limp body into a quiet corner, undressed him, and donned his cloak.
Hugh followed some sounds and a voice he thought might be Kitty’s all the way to the inner sanctum.
He rounded a corner and found himself in a sweet smelling, candle-lit room. There, he saw Kitty, riding a man on an altar in reverse cowboy.
When Kitty opened her eyes and saw Hugh, she stopped gyrating and gasped. “Hugh! What are you...”
Kitty dismounted her well-endowed partner, and the handsome man she had been fucking arose from the altar. Hugh immediately realized the man was Sobek, who was now donning his crocodilian face.
“What the fuck? Sawback!”
“SOBEK!” the reptilian yelled.
“You’re fucking my girlfriend now?!”
“Yes—it seems your lady has taken a fancy to me.”
“You piece of...” Hugh looked around for a weapon, but none were to be found.
“Hugh,” Kitty spoke up, “Listen, I’m not leaving.”
“Kitty, please. We have an orgy to arrange!”
“No, Hugh, look, there won’t be any orgy! I’m staying, and that’s that. Sobek is going to make me a queen!”
“Yes, we will go back several more revolutions of your sun, and I will install you as Hatshepsut, my lovely Queen of the Nile,” said Sobek, addressing Kitty in a smooth, yet authoritative sing-song voice, “And what a fine queen you will make!”
“Kitty, what the hell is this asshole talking about?”
With that, Sobek raised one hand and said, “Read!” pointing to the column to the right covered in symbols with his other webbed, clawed hand.
“I can’t read hieroglyphs, you half-baked lizard!” Hugh exclaimed.
“READ!” Sobek repeated sternly, trying to contain his rage.
Amazed, Hugh found that he could comprehend all of the strange inscriptions on the wall of the inner sanctum.
What was written was beyond belief.
The hieroglyphs recounted how an alien reptilian species had left their home planet after their sun began to die and arrived on earth in large spaceships. They had landed in the Nile Valley and made contact with the ancient Egyptians. These reptilians had the uncanny ability to travel back and forth through time as they pleased, taking anyone or anything they wanted to take with them. Not surprisingly, the reptilians were regarded as gods by the ancient Egyptians who venerated them.
“Behold, I have brought you two back to what is basically the start of the reptilian age,” Sobek explained, his hands extended, his snake-like eyes firmly fixed on Hugh, “We reptilians will thrive on your warm planet. Your lifespan is akin to a mayfly compared to ours. We will be masters of your race, as we are masters of illusion. We will dictate the present and the future. I have given you the privilege of witnessing how you got to where you were. Are you not amused?” Sobek’s mouth stretched into the faintest of cold, reptilian grins.
With that, Hugh watched in awe as Sobek transformed himself into a very handsome man, followed by a strikingly beautiful woman with a blue lotus flower in her hair.
“Come with me,” said Sobek in female form.
After hours of being served horizontal refreshment, Hugh re-emerged—he was now a changed man.
Sobek stood behind Hugh in a sheer, blue dress, retaining the appearance of a stunning female with full breasts, auburn hair, and azure eyes like the lotus flower in her hair. She ran her fingers through Hugh McAndy’s hair, making his body quiver like a Nile reed.
“You, I will make Senmut,” she said, in a most alluring voice, “Courtier and lover of Hatshepsut, Queen of Egypt.”
“Yay! We’ll be together again!” she squealed with excitement.
Sobek resumed his original, reptilian appearance and called Kitty and Hugh to his side.
Hugging both of them in each of his scaly arms, he said, “My little scullions, you will do my bidding while we rule all of Egypt together! And to keep you in this timeframe, all orgies shall be limited to 299 participants! So let it be written!”
With that, Sobek let out a hearty laugh.
“Ulaaka’am ennut’taiyatu,” he said in ancient Egyptian—the world is ours. ✦